Wednesday, July 28, 2010

You really think suicide is painless???

Two years ago today cancer took the life of one of the Goode guys... the man I'll always think of as my second dad. The hearts of his family are broken.  His presence is missed each and every day as he is missing out on all the wonderful new memories being created.  He missed the birth of his youngest grandchild.  He is missing out on his oldest daughter becoming a mom to a beautiful little girl she is trying to adopt.His oldest grandson is missing out on his best friend watching him grow up into a handsome young man. They are missing out on the love and joy he would have lavished on all. And most of all he is not here to ease the aches in their hearts brought on by his death. Roney fought so hard to stay. He was not ready to go. Yet cancer took that all from him... and from them.

It's been a while since felt this anger so strongly. Why am I feeling it more today than others? Because YOU chose to leave.  In a couple hours I will be joining OUR DAUGHTER at the doctor's office to hear our grandchild's heart beat for the first time. Hopefully, I'll be seeing her or him for the first time too on an ultrasound. YOU should be here too. But nooooo you are a freakin jerk and coward and had to kill yourself instead of sticking around and doing what was right.  In a few short months I will be at our daughter's side as she gives birth. I will be there to hold her hand and hug her through it.  I will be the first to see that precious face, the face of our grandchild.  And I will love her or him every moment for the rest of my life.  I will fight to live as long and as hard as you never did.  I hope you're happy now. I hope you're proud of yourself for inflicting this pain on your daughter and her brothers.  And for the record... Steve will be here to love this baby like you should have. 

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